Want to tone those upper body muscles? Want swole, ripplin’ biceps with elevator cable sized veins to show off to yourself in the mirror at the gym/in your shirtless cell phone facebook profile picture… that you update every 5 minutes? Want those sexy, toothpick thin arms you see all you favorite celebrities sporting because the adaptation of their gag reflex has caused them to have to jam their entire arm down their throat in order to stimulate the release of the hand full of celery and fat free peanut butter they gorged themselves on? You would certainly need too after you go one calorie over your three calorie a week diet.
Well, this workout does none of these things. Don’t worry though, your inability to move your arms up to your mouth will not impede the possibility of puking your guts out…
I affectionately call this the Murder Log:
Using a Strongman Log- Load the bar with 187lbs (or close to it) for Men, 100lbs for Women and do 30 Clean and Presses in the fastest time possible.
Then go immediately to:
Dumbbell Benching- Pick a weight and bench it for 10 minutes straight.
Multiply the time it took to complete 30 reps by the weight you used for benching.
Multiply that number by 150. The product equals the number of calories you now have to eat (within an hour of finishing the workout) in order to not die in your sleep the evening after completing the two exercises.
For example, here are my numbers:
8 minutes and 45 seconds for the log (8.45) x 30lbs for the benching (30) x 150 = a 16inch meat lovers Stromboli and a gallon of gatorade… then the remaining 30,000 calories were from whole sticks of butter and baconators.
Disclaimer: If you make it through the workout, then you are awesome. If by some freak genetic anomaly you are able to eat the amount of resulting calories from the above equation, then you are my hero.
Solum Per Exitum.